Joe Wright is supposed to be a great director, although this is supposed to be a terrible movie and was a big set-back for his career; also, I havenāt seen any childrenās movies in a long, long time: I saw some as a kid, of course, (although back then I would read Narnia as a handbook on how to rule a medieval kingdom), and when I was ill for those years there I would watch some childrenās TV to escape, but most if not all actual movies made me afraidāJesus, why is there conflict! I feel afraid!āand then when I got better, I started to become much more book-y, and since Iāve decided not to have kids, I thought I might never watch another kidsā movie, you know.Ā
But I was going through some John Powell film music albums, kidsā movie film music, actually, since I thought it would be delightfulāIāve given up mantra music, you know, since itāsā¦. monastic, basically, and now I would like to get married, even if I think that the time isnāt going to be right for kidsāand then, wow: re-writing the lyrics of āSmells Like Teen Spiritā! Thatās boss! And I was like: Iām going to have to watch this movie!Ā
And itās good. addition to being boss, it has elements of vulnerabilityāyour mother believes in you, even though she was never there for you; and religion/the nuns you only wish were not there when they are, and they Certainly Do Not believe in youāas well as elements that are, sure, primarily visually appealing: like, itād make a good painting, like the RAF fighting flying pirate ships, which is kinda boss, you knowā¦.Ā
And Peter Pan was kinda punk, you know. Heās Kurt Cobain. Heās the classically gendered male. He looks adorable and cuteā¦. But heās a pirate, you know. And a little crazy. Sometimes with movies from past decades, you lose that aspect of his character, because of how we put the past through this lens. Peter Pan isnāt Cinderellaās groom; heās not Prince Charming.Ā
Heās boss.Ā
ā¦. I think you can appreciate little things in a movie like this. Like on the soundtrack album, one of the tracks is, āAir Raid/Office Raidā, you know, like the association of those two things, the juxtaposition: your fight against the killjoy IS āthe Battle of Britainā, you know. (Wink smilie)Ā
ā¦. I could only watch twenty minutes at a go instead of thirty, but it is okay, you know. Enemies started out as friends; childhood isnāt a tea partyāitās scary; we dream a world a bit like this one, scary, only itās better and more magical, but maybe itās deathāitās all true, in a wayā¦. āReal should be a very fluid concept for you right nowāā¦.Ā
ā¦. But I guess I have to take away a point for the White Tiger Lilly thing, which means I am admitting itās the worst movie Iāve seen in awhileā¦. I mean, in an amusing if generic way they try, in the world building, to do the pirates (mean colonists) vs natives, but thenĀ Ā only let the chief of the natives be an Indigenous guy, and have their main fighter be Korean (all people of color are the same? Two Indigenous people representing an Indigenous plot line would be too much? āI just like people in generalā, but I have no idea what the world is really like? Where are we going with this?), but then the one Native girl who has at least an important-for-a-girl role, Tiger Lilly, is Not Native, and Peter Panās mom is also a Native-just-kidding-white (although the amusing but generic world building was all a little hard to follow, and it came mostly in One Awesome Conversation, right), and so Peter Pan is actually half-Native (or is it half-Asian?), but, no just kidding, heās 100% white, you know.Ā
So I mean, it is a racist movie. I guess we donāt know how to make these characteristically Anglo movies without being flaming racists, yet. The racism does have a different flavor from the 1950s animated Peter Pan movieās racismāwhich bothered me even when I was an uncritical One Direction fanābut, you know, you know what that one tribe of white men says, La plus Ƨa changeā¦. Right? Racism has survived, children. (shrugs) I wanted to believe that it wasnāt as bad as I was worried it was, because it seemed like they were trying, a little, butā¦. You know, you try, until it gets hard, if youāre a saddie, rightā¦.Ā
ā¦. So, Iām going to keep the title the same from when I liked the movie, but you understand that now I hear āI know itās day but itās dark outsideā as the characteristically elegant Anglo girlās unconscious meditation on the survival of racismā¦. Or, as Paul McCartney once said, āYesterday came suddenlyāāa line that in my Beatle-mania phase, admittedly the same as my symptomatic period, when I had a thing about Hitler being everywhereāalways made me think of the Nazis, you know. Why does love die? Well, you know, āyesterday came suddenlyā (as Nazis do their thing in the video portion, lol)ā¦.Ā
And, you know, I have memories of my symptomatic days, and 99.9% of those weird thoughts are a combination of unmerited fears/anti-social attitudes/racism-and-prejudice, you know, but every so often thereās a thought where itās like, Yeah, pretty much. (laughs) āSomethingās not right; because I know that itās day but itās dark outsideā¦.ā (laughs) Gee whiz, I guess that Harry Styles didnāt really take down Adolph Hitler, after allā¦. āYeah, kid, pretty much. (to someone else) What, what do you want me to tell him? Do you want me to make something up?āĀ
Yeah, thatās kinda what we do!Ā
ā¦. Although Zayn Malik could have played Smee: thatās progress, children. āWhat, youāre Pakistani? Get the hell out of hereāI thought you were white!ā (laughing cat emoji)Ā
ā¦. Also: I donāt think thereās a Tinker Bell in this movie, since Tiger Lilly is white, and thereās not a big desire in this movie for female characters, so she got the ax, which I think is sad, because Tinker Bell is arguably the first Disney princess-type who had a real sense of agency, right. Three steps forward, two steps back: life is not a straight line, now is it. If God is a mathematician, heās not a naive oneā¦.Ā
ā¦. This website needs to stop coughing up smilies and deleting shit automatically when I put them in. For real.Ā
Okay, again:Ā
As hard as it is to sink lower than the White Tiger Lily fiasco, I just feel like this movie got worse and worse the longer it went on. I mean, Iām not one to want a Sheldon Cooper Talk about fairy-dust, but as far as origins/backstory/explanation goes, are we Seriously walking away from this without explaining why Captain Hook: (a) is Peter Panās enemy, and (b) has a big HOOK for a hand? Youāre going to call it a complete work of art, and not do that?Ā
And just more generally, Iād forgotten how clumsy, Pompous!, and superficial little British boys in magic movies can be. Itās like, why is Pan such a hero? What does he evolve into, aside from the beneficiary of special effects? And Iām not saying that the movie had to do something else, like with more flirting, although I think itās bad how it makes flirting something that only semi-unlikable people do, you know, itās likeābe fair, or leave it alone. And itās like, bloody hell, you know, if youāre going to take a little British boy and train him to be a hero, at least do it right, you know. If youāre going to do it, do it rightādonāt lie to me!Ā